Tuesday, March 29, 2011

Listen to the Archives

If you missed yesterday's tele-conversation with Edgar Papke - ALIGNED: HOW TO BUILD AND LEAD HIGH PERFORMING TEAMS AND ORGANIZATIONS - you can listen to the archived version.

Sunday, March 27, 2011

A Rose By Any Other Name...

I love the term "badinage" and was told early on that it was the playful banter men sling at each other. Then I thought of all the nicknames I have given to my friends over the years.

First, there's Petal, my best bud' in CT when we cruised in the 80's the hostess from Britain used to say, "Good Mornin', Petal" are we off to the loo? The name stuck:-) Then there's my best bud', Kate who I affectionately call "Squeab" as she used to refer to things as squeab squabs. She has since changed her name to Kat so now affectionately known as SqueabKat. There's my friend, Debbie aka Swof for sun whore, only friend (I'll let you figure that one out:-) Let's not forget Soog, who is a human google, hence soogle, shortened to Soog. And my BFF (that would be best friend forever) who I simply call (Biff). If that wasn't enough, are you nauseous or dizzy yet, I love titles as much as I love names hence "My Sam" Director of Everything and boy, does she garner compliments on her title. So what's the point of this verbosity...absolutely none. Then why did I write it...because I can:-)

Sunday, March 20, 2011

Don't "Should" On me

Stop "Should-ing" on your audience and think "what's in it for me." 

I was coaching a client this week about giving a presentation and he said he was going to talk on X because the audience "should" know that? My retort was the ol' radio station to which we are all tuned into on an automatic daily basis, WIIFM, what's in it for me?

 It gave me pause even beyond the coaching session about how many areas of our lives we "should" on people. You "should" wear a coat, it's cold outside, you "should eat your veggies, they're good for you, you "should" start dating again, you "should" see this movie... So the question is, how can we rephrase. rethink and reboot our "shoulds" so they are more inspiring and therefore can offer people the self motivation they need to implement themselves?

Albert Ellis, coined a word for all this "should-ing", he called it "muster-bation". In other words, you are "muster-bating" whenever you behave in ways that you feel you "must". So what's the answer? It's simple, stop allowing it, it causes you stress, no one is keeping score, stop the imposition. If you "should" on others, rephrase, make it a polite suggestion instead of "you should see this movie", try "I just saw a great movie that I think you might enjoy...) Think of how you "should" on others and how much you allow others to "should" on you. Now simply cease and desist!!!!

Sunday, March 13, 2011

Just Your Average Day in a Tsunami

Well, I'll do anything for a great story to add to a speech but realllllllly... While speaking in Hawaii all week, packing to leave Friday morning, I hear the sirens sound to warn of the incoming tsunami as a result of Japan's earthquake. Are you kidding me? A tsunami? I dash to the lobby of the hotel for more info, along with the throngs already there. The good news, I'm on the 4th floor of a civil defense approved building and the 4th floor and up didn't have to move, a small positive on the road to my first tsunami. The phones were out but not the TV or internet so I did what we all do in situations where we have no clue...the internet! The next thing I know I'm filling my bathtub with water (rationing for the week), I know, stop laughing, I wasn't.

I set my alarm for two hours sleep so I would be awake when it hit at 3:21am. And then I sat there in my hotel room, praying, hoping, wondering, reflecting and waiting. I'm happy to say I heard it but didn't see it as it was too dark but watched it on TV while 500 mph waves came in like a jetplane and took the whole ocean floor back out with it so even the coral reefs were exposed, fish and turtles washing up and back and all the sirens blaring.

The airport opened the next day in time for me to make my original flights. Hawaii was prepared, my hotel was amazing, The Fairmont in Wailea. The next morning they opened one restaurant and served all the guests a complimentary breakfast and I'm not talking a continental breakfast, I'm talking eggs benedict, pancakes, the real deal. People really do bond together in times of crisis and everyone was like one big family over breakfast. And me, the cockeyed optimist, hey, I've got great material for my next speech. How many of you can say you've been through a tsunami?